abandonment to the will of god

okay, this month's spiritual book is
abandonment to the will of god.
divine providence

thoughts on the
abandonment
getting up in the morning and
turning my day over to god.

that feels odd.

i've thought about this for a good
two years, probably longer,
but couldn't do it because of all of
the side effects that i thought it would
entail.

anyway, i'm just going to do it and see
what happens

i have already started.

i held back from doing it because it is like
taking a leap into the unknown, very scary

not my will but god's will be done.

i always thought that if i tuned into god's will
probably ask me to do something that i couldn't do.

however, i discovered that my will and his will could
be the same.
it could have been the same all along.
i just didn't know.

now-
modern day version

tune into your source
divine abandonment
jesus christ as a guide to the divine
i am in unchartered waters here.

divine abandonment
that there is a plan
you are on it
god adjusts his plan to you
you adjust your plan to god

i don't seem so afraid of divine abandonment
now.
i was always so afraid of saying yes,
now, that i have said yes, i don't feel that
afraid.

but i have a hesitation in saying that.
let's see what tomorrow brings.

letting go of the catholic church
letting go of my concepts of god
can't conceive of god
we can see his work in creation