it had been a cold night a year ago today when meghan
had stepped into her smart car
and switched on the heat in the driver's seat.
she nosed the car down the winding driveway and turned
right on north street.

she could feel the warmth of the seat hitting her back
and under her buttocks. it was getting hot but she like
it that way on these cold nights, especially since the heating
fan in the car went out and only worked when she hit one of the
many country potholes which jarred the fan back to life.

her left ear was itching and she began to rub it.

her ear had been itching all week and she didn't know why,
although she had heard from the old folk that when your left
ear itched you were either inheriting a lot of money, or there
was a surpise heading your way.

that was old folks tale handed down from one hill to the other.

the moon was bright tonight and lit the winding curves up raal
bright.

she looked at the seat next to her and patted the book with the
worn cloth cover. it was entitled the inner room and it had
caught her attention at her aunt's house.

her aunt was a recluse but she had this room of books and when
meghan was a child she had always found a book to read in that
room.

well, now that her aunt had passed away she had left the house to
meghan and so now all the books were meghan's.

that's where meghan was coming from.

she was trying to assess what had to be done with all her aunt's stuff
and she had found herself in the library and the time had slipped by
as she took out one book and then another and went through the pages.

this particular book had been under the round globe of the world stuck up on the
fourth shelf and shoved in the corner.

meghan had went to grab the globe and the book fell to her feet.

she picked it up and had started reading it.

that had been a year ago, and it had started her on a journey.

it was a meditation book
well, not really a meditation book,
it was a book on contemplation.

what the difference was she didn't know
and she still had her questions about the process.

anyway she had been practicing the method of centering prayer
for a year now and she was beginning to wonder if what was
happening to her was because of it.

her left ear was itching and she rubbed it again, she must be
allergic to something she thought.

she got home to her house and turned the lights on and walked in
murphy met her at the door wagging his tail and nuzzling her foot
then he ran around in a circle he was so happy to see her.

she got him his food and water
turned up the fireplace and sat in her overstuffed blue chair
the inner room book on her lap

she began reading
and her eyes became heavy and she fell asleep.

her ear was bothering her
and she rubbed it again
what was the matter with her ear.

she got up and looked in the mirror
a thin layer of gauze or tissue covered her outer ear
she knew in her mind's eye that it had been there for awhile
but she had just kept ignoring it
and she would just rub her ear when it itched.

she pulled the thin layer away
and her mother was standing there
by her shoulder watching her intently

the last piece came off and these three stub like plants
came out of her ear.

her mother grabbed one and ate it.

mom, she cried that is disgusing I can't believe you just did
that.

her mother ignored her and just ate the plant.

meghan looked in the nmirror and plants of all sizes and
shapes were growing out of her ear.

oh, my god what is happening to me
she was horrified

but it got worse.

all of a sudden from the hole in her ear these black winged
insects began to fly out of her ear.

meghan was beside herself.
she could feel them comjing out
and knew they had been there all along

she awoke and jumped out of her chair
rubbing her left ear horrified as to what had
just happened.

she ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

her ear looked all right and she knew it was just a dream,
but it had been very real.

the reality of the whole episode had stayed with her and
it became a part of her. she didnb't know what it meant
but it stayed with her during the day and came back into her
mind when she was driving the car, or walking in the supermarket
or browsin the books in her aunt's house.

she had been doing the inner room for a year now
and things were starting to change
she did it in the morning for an hour and in
the evenings she sometiems skipped it, did it for twenty minutes,
other times 30 minutes and once she had done it for an hour.

the unconcious was seeping into her conciousness.

she fell asleep
and woke up and
luke was four he was playing with murphy and they were
running around the house as only a boy and his dog could.

they were two of a king murphy and luke,
mischievious, full of full and lots of energy.

that was a good dream
and lately had been wondering about dream life and waking life
being the same.

they seemed to be running into one another and she wondered what it all meant.